# Best Math jokes And Puns That Will Make You Smile. 100+ for kids and students. Math memes, Calculus jokes

24.04.2019

497

**Best Math Jokes**on our site

There are an infinite number of ways to make math class fun! Why not start your class with some of these cheesy math jokes? You’ll have your students cracking up and ready to use their math brains.

1. Q: Why do they never serve beer at a math party?

A: Because you can’t drink and derive…

2. Q: Why didn’t the quarter roll down the hill with the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

3. Q: Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

A: He worked it out with a pencil.

4. Q: How many molecules in a bowl of guacamole?

A: Avacado’s Number

5. Q: What happened to the plant in math class?

A: It grew square roots.

6. Q: Why did the chicken cross the mobius strip?

A: To get to the same side.

7. Q: How do you make seven an even number?

A: Take the s out!

8. Q: Why wasn’t the geometry teacher at school?

A: Because she sprained her angle!!

9. Q: Why should the number 288 never be mentioned?

A: It’s two gross.

10. Q: Why couldn’t the moebius strip enroll at the school?

A: They required an orientation.

11. Q: What does a mathematician do about constipation?

A: He works it out with a pencil.

12. Q: Why is a math book always unhappy? A: Because it always has lots of problems.

13. Q: Why don’t you do arithmetic in the jungle? A: Because if you add 4+4 you get ate!

14. Q: Why did I divide sin by tan? A: Just cos.

15. Q: Where do math teachers go on vacation?

A: To Times Square.

16. Q: What do you call friends who love math?

A: algebros

17. Q: What do you call a number that can’t keep still?

A: A roamin’ numeral.

18. Q: Why is 6 afraid of 7?

A: Because 7 8 9

19. Q: What did the mathematician say when he finished his christmas dinner?

A: root -1/ root 64 (I over 8)

20. Q: What does the zero say to the the eight?

A: Nice belt!

21. Q: Why did the mutually exclusive events break up?

A: They had nothing in common.

22. Q: How is an artificial christmas tree like the fourth root of -68?

A: Neither has real roots.

23. Q: How do you call a one-sided nudie bar?

A: A Mobius strip club.

24. Q: How does a math professor propose to his fianc e?

A: With a polynomial ring!

25. Q: What do you get if you cross a math teacher with a crab?

A: Snappy answers.

26. Q: Why did the two 4’s skip lunch?

A: They already 8 (ate)!

27. Q: What is the most erotic number

A: 2110593!

28. Q: Why?

A: When 2 are 1 and don’t pay at10tion, they’ll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they’ll be 3.

29. Q: What is a proof?

A: One-half percent of alcohol.

30. Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?

A: A middle school math problem!

31. Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?

A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin.

32. Q: What is non-orientable and lives in the ocean? A: Mobius Dick.

33. Q: What is the difference between a Ph.D. in mathematics and a large pizza? A: A large pizza can feed a family of four

34. Q: How does a mathematician induce good behavior in her children? A: `I’ve told you n times, I’ve told you n+1 times…’

35. Q: What is the world’s longest song? A: “Aleph-nought Bottles of Beer on the Wall.”

36. Q: How do you call the largest accumulation point of poles? A: Warsaw!

37. Q: How do you know when you’ve reached your Math Professors voice-mail? A: The message is “The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please, rotate your phone by 90 degrees and try again…”

38. Q: What is normed, complete, and yellow? A: A Bananach space…

39. Q: What did 2 say to 4 after 2 beat him in a race? A: 2 Fast 4 U!

40. Q: What did Al Gore play on his guitar? A: An algorithm!

41. Q: What did the mathematician’s parrot say? A: A poly “no meal”

42. Q: Why dont people put the numbers 2,3, and 0 together? A: Because they are two turdy.

43. Q: What did one math book say to the other? A: Don’t bother me I’ve got my own problems!

44. Q: How do you teach a blonde math? A: Subtract her clothes, divide her legs, and square root her.

45. Q: What is the definition of a polar bear? A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transformation

Math Jokes For Kids – Math Jokes For Teachers

46. What is a mathematician’s favorite season?

Sum-mer.

47. What did one algebra book say to the other? Don’t bother me, I’ve got my own problems.

48. How does a ghost solve quadratic equations? By completing the scare.

49. How does a mathematician plow fields? With a pro-tractor.

50. Why should the number 288 never be mentioned? Because it’s too gross.

51. Why did the circle do a flip? To get in shape.

52. What do you get if you cross a math teacher and a clock? Arithma-ticks!

53. I saw my math teacher with a piece of graph paper yesterday. I think he must be plotting something.

54. I saw Pi fighting with the square root of two the other day. I told them to stop being so irrational.

55. Have you heard about the mathematical plant? It has square roots.

56. How many monsters are good at math? None, unless you Count Dracula.

57. How do you keep warm in a square room? You go into the corner, where it is always 90 degrees.

58. What do mathematicians eat on Halloween? Pumpkin Pi.

59. Why did the math book look so sad? Because it had so many problems.

60. A circle is just a round straight line with a hole in the middle.

61. Decimals have a point.

62. Why do plants hate math? Because it gives them square roots.

63. Why did the boy eat his math homework? Because the teacher told him it was a piece of cake.

64. Have you heard the latest statistics joke? Probably.

65. What did the acorn say when it grew up? Geometry.

66. What do you call an empty parrot cage? Polygon.

67. Cakes are round but Pi are square.

68. How can you make time fly? Throw a clock out the window!

69. Without geometry, life is pointless.

70. Q. Why was the maths book sad?

A. Because it had too many problems.

71. Q. What’s the king of the pencil case?

A. The ruler.

72.Q. What US state has the most maths teachers?

A. Mathachussets.

73. Q. Heard about the mathematical plant?

A. It has square roots.

74. Q. Which tables do you not have to learn?

A. Dinner tables.

75. Q. What tool do you use in maths?

A. Multi-plyers.

76. Q. Why was 6 afraid of 7?

A. Because 7 8 9!

77. Q. Why didn’t the dime roll down the hill with the nickel?

A: Because it had more cents.

78. Q. Why did the math book get poor grades?

A: It never did it’s own work.

79. Q. Why did the right triangle put the air conditioner on?

A: Because it was 90 degrees.

80. Q: If 1 = 5, 2 = 25, 3 = 125, and 4 = 525 – what is 5 equal to?

A: 1

81. Q. What’s black and white and has lots of problems?

A: A math test.

82. Q. What do you get if you cross a maths teacher and a clock?

A. Arithma-ticks!

83. Q. What is 67 + 35 + 99 + 136 + 84?

A. A headache.

84. Q.How do you make one vanish?

A. Add a ‘g’ to the beginning and it’s gone!

85. Q. What do you get when you cross a math teacher with a tree?

A. Arithma-sticks.

86. Q. Why was the obtuse angle so upset?

A: Because it was never right.

87. Q. Why was the warlock so bad at math?

A: He never knew WITCH equation to use.

88. Q. What did the algebra book say to the science book?

A: Boy, do I have problems!

89. Q. What did the math book say to the history book?

A: You know you can count on me.

90. Q: What is a math teacher’s favorite season?

A: Sum-mer.

91. Q. What number can only go up?

A: Your age.

92. Q. What did the square say to the old circle?

A: Been around long?

93. Q. Why couldn’t the 6 and 11 get married?

A: They were under 18.

94. Q. What is heavier, a pound of feathers or a pound of cotton?

A: Neither, they both weight a pound.

95. Q. Why shouldn’t you say 288 in school?

A: Because it’s two gross. (Hint: 144 is called a gross)

96. Q. Where do multiplication problems eat breakfast?

A: At times tables.

97. Q: What do you get when you divide the circumference of a Jack-o-lantern by its diameter?

A: Pumpkin Pi.

98. Q. Why did the boy keep a ruler under his pillow?

A: To see how long he could sleep.

99. Q. What did the spelling book say to the math book?

A: I know I can count on you.

100. A statistician is someone who is good with numbers but lacks the personality to be an accountant.

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