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100+ Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself. Short & Long Birthday Wishes, Messages For Myself

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Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

One of the best days to thoroughly laugh at yourself is on your birthday! And we have right here plenty of funny birthday statuses that you can use to do just that.
Go ahead and use these status updates on your preferred social media platform(s) to announce your special day in the most humorous way possible!

Today, being my Big Day, God, please bless me with a sh*t load of money. Happy birthday to me!

Hi everyone, please join me in laying my youthful years to rest.

My birthday cake is so bright I need to wear sunglasses before I can safely stare at it. I bet you haven’t seen any cake cooler than mine!

Happy birthday to me! I am not old! So if anyone makes the grave mistake of calling me old, I wouldn’t hesitate hitting them with my walking stick.
Only truly brave people enter into the land of old age! Happy birthday to one of the bravest persons on earth – me!

It is true that I might be aging, but at least I’m still alive! And what’s more, I’m drawing closer to my pension! Happy birthday to me.

On my birthday, I have just realized that gravity is my greatest enemy. All the same, happy birthday to me!

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
God, if you want to make me infinitely happy on my birthday today, please make my economy incredibly good this year.

I can’t believe it’s my birthday again! I really need to slow it down before I start looking like Keith Richards’ twin.

It’s my birthday, and I shall count my blessings instead of the damn wrinkles on my face, so help me God!

I lit up all the candles on my cake to kick start my birthday celebration only for one of my scared neighbors to call the fire department because he thought my whole apartment was on fire!

Wishing the one and only me a super duper happy birthday! I guess this is the right time for me to increase my font size to the almighty “Billboard”.

I’m not saying I’m aging, but now I understand what they mean when they say after 30, one’s body develops a mind of its own.
Happy birthday to the sweetest man/woman in the world – me! I’m so sweet that if you touch, me you’ll certainly get diabetes!

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

Wishing a fabulous birthday to one of the world’s youngest and most gorgeous individuals – me! I bet all my retirement savings that I’m the coolest person in the world!

My apartment is really hot! I don’t know whether it’s because of the candles on my birthday cake or just global warming. All the same, I hope I have a great day.

Happy birthday to me. If the good die young, I certainly ain’t one of the world’s good guys.

Today is my birthday, and I swear I will take up arms to defend myself against anyone who tells me I have become old.

Dear God, on my birthday, please make me live long without making me old. That’s all I ask of you.

If aging were money, I am hundred percent sure by now I would be richer than Bill Gates.

Finally I have reached that age where it is increasingly becoming a good idea to start lying about my age.

Hurrah! Today I induct myself into the Aging Hall of Fame!

God, since today is my special day, I ask just one special favor from you. Please, make my life as cool as I pretend it is on Facebook and Instagram!

I salute myself on this occasion of joining the prestigious club of the aged.

Happy birthday to me! I wish I could resist the temptation to count the candles illuminating my cake and focus on counting my blessings.

Happy birthday to me! They say my young and wild days are gone, but I seriously beg to differ. Those days have just begun! Watch and see!
Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
On my Big Day, I commend myself for being the recipient of the “Most Wonderful Person in the World” award! I certainly will keep this up.

Since getting old is not for sissies, I must be the world’s most courageous person.

Dear self, celebrate this birthday knowing that at this point in your life, you do yourself a great favor lying about your real age. Happy birthday!
Oh God of mercy, so finally I make my entry into the kingdom of the old farts of the world. Damn!

Yes, I’ve finally gotten to that age where scrolling down to choose my year of birth on a website takes forever.

With the loads of candles on my birthday cake, I have no doubts in my mind that this month’s heating bill is going to ridiculously low. I couldn’t have asked for a better birthday present.

Another birthday! God please slow it down.

I might be aging and developing saggy skin, but I take solace in the fact that most people my age are dead.

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
As I mark this great day of my life, I can’t help but ask myself time and again the question: “Where is my youth?”

I have finally reached the point of my life where my spectacles is probably more important to me than sex. Happy birthday to me!

Happy birthday to me! Hmm. There used to be a time when this age seemed so old it would never come!

They say in everything we should give thanks to God, for He alone knows what is best for us. So dear God, I thank you for making me age on my birthday today.

Happy birthday to me! You know you’re getting old when your knees buckle instead of your belt.

If aging were an arms race, I would definitely have more stockpiles of nuclear weapons than Russia and America put together!

I will not let myself feel sad just because I’m growing old, for there are tons of pluses to old age. For example, in a hostage situation, I certainly would be one of the first to be freed (:

My birthday wish for myself is that God will make me grow so old that my peers will think I never made it to heaven.
Dear Lord, for making me age the way you have done, the least you can do for me is bless me with a fat bank account.

The short birthday wishes for you:

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

#1: Happy birthday to a beautiful and strong soul, yeah you guess right. It’s my birthday. Happy birthday to me!!
its my birthday
#2: Cheers to surviving another year and grateful for being here to celebrate myself. Happy birthday to me!

#3: I am not just a year older but also a year better and happier like never before. Happy birthday to me!

#4: I’ll enjoy the best of today and laugh like never before because it’s my day. Happy birthday to me!

#5: Heaven has been really good to me by adding another year to my age. Happy birthday to me!

#6: My wishes for myself today are more grace, more prosperity, more happiness and more years ahead. Happy birthday to me!

#7: May this day bring unexpected blessing and endless joy to me now and forever more. Happy birthday to me.

#8: It’s another 365 days of existence thanks to the lord of all creature for the grace to be alive. Happy birthday to myself.

#9: What a time to be alive, I’m the most happiest man on earth today. Happy birthday to me.

#10: What else can I be thankful for than being among those that is still enjoying the oxygen of life. happy birthday to me.
Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
#11: I really wish I could scream my voice across the universe to show how happy I am today, happy birthday to me!

#12: I should be given an award for mr/miss awesome because I’m indeed a rare gem. Happy birthday to me!

#13: I know I am a source of blessing to others and I’m happy to celebrate another year. Happy birthday to me.

#14: The cake is here and I’m ready to blow out the candles and also to make some sweet wishes for myself. Wishing myself a wonderful year ahead. Happy birthday to me!

#15: Most people spend their entire life trying to be a great person but I am few of the lucky ones who had always been great from birth. Happy birthday to me.
Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
#16: On this day, the sweetest being on earth was born. Happy birthday to me.

#17: I am officially +1 which indicate a plus to my success. Happy birthday to me!

#18: It’s another new phase of my life, filled with love and all the joy that I have always imagined. Happy birthday to me.

#19: Happy birthday to myself, and promise to keep on loving the life that you are in because it is truly yours.

#20: To the person that I am this very day, it is tremendous growth through the good and tough times. Happy birthday.

#21: To this blessed and beautiful soul, happy birthday and may the Lord litter your paths with blessings.

#22: I am not just a year older but also a year wiser. Happy birthday to me!

#23: May this day bring countless happiness and endless joy and live with peace and serenity to me. Happy birthday to lucky me.

#24: Happy Birthday to someone awesome, humble, beautiful, and funny! Yes, that’s right, it’s my birthday.
Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
#35: Hooray! It’s my birthday once again! Wishing me, myself and I a memorable birthday full of the Lord’s blessings. Happy birthday to me.

#34: Hope this special day and others to come will blossom into lots of dreams come true! Happy birthday to a happy me.

#35: Mon and dad, thanks for a wonderful gift to the world. Happy birthday dear sweet me.

#36: It’s that special day again when I always paint a smile on my face and dare any troubles of life to come because I feel superb and abundantly blessed. A very happy birthday to me.
#37: When I woke up, I realized it must be a special day for some reason. Oh yes, it is the day that I was born! I am so grateful for the gift of life! Happy birthday to me!
#38: Happy birthday to me! Today, I give myself permission to be good to myself. I will make sure to do something I enjoy on my special day! I am worth it!

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

#39: I survived another year. I am a year older and hopefully a year wiser. I rejoice and celebrate the blessings that God has given me.

#40: What a wonderful and exciting day this is. All of the best people were born on this day! That is why it is no surprise that today is my birthday, as well.

#41: Happy birthday to me! This year, I am a little stronger and a little wiser. God has granted me another year, and I promise myself that I will make the best of it!

#42: Today is the day I have looked forward to all year. This is the day that is all about me! I will have fun and do what I enjoy. Happy birthday to me!

#43: This has been a good year. I have accomplished many of the goals that I set for myself. Well done, me! I am going to treat myself to a special celebration. Happy birthday to me!

Long birthday wishes and messages for you:

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself

#1: Today is the start of a new year for me and a new chapter of my life. What a great time to be alive! I am grateful for the blessings of the past, and I look forward to more blessings in the coming year. Happy birthday to me!

#2: It is my birthday today! I am going to go out for my favorite meal and have a triple chocolate cake with ice cream. There are no calories on my birthday! Woohoo!

#3: Happy birthday to someone who is smart, beautiful, talented, and all around wonderful. Who could that person be? I wonder. That’s right, you guessed it! It’s me! I am going to enjoy my special day today.

#4: It is another birthday. In thinking of this past year, there have been many ups and downs. Yet, I made it through. I look forward to a fresh beginning and starting a new year. Happy birthday to me.

#5: Many people depend on me and make demands upon me. Today, however, is all about me! I am going to give myself special treats and do what I want to do. I deserve it! Happy birthday to me!

Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
#6: This year was a difficult one, with many struggles and hardships. I got through it, though! Yay, me! Today is the start of a brand-new year. I am looking forward to a fresh start. Happy birthday to me!

#7: The birds woke me up with a sweet song, the sun shine radiantly through my windows and the cool breeze gently tap me to wake up to a brand new day filled with joy and laughter, a day specially made for me. Happy birthday to me.

#8: Today marks another awesome year for me and I can only be grateful and happy for this grace heaven has grant me, a new age has been added to my life and I’ve been blessed with blessings beyond my expectations. Happy birthday to me!

#9: Only God is worthy of all my praises and adoration today, he gave me peace in times of troubles, soothes my pain, put a smile on my face during my sad days and also gave me sunshine in my cloudy days. Happy birthday to me!

#10: Dear Self, you have really done so good and so well and you really deserve all the good things that comes your way. You have survive one more year of struggles, laughter and love. Congratulations on passing out in flying colors. Happy birthday to me!
Funny Birthday Statuses for Myself
#11: My heart is filled with happiness and my soul is filled with joy because I’m lucky enough to witness today and to see my loved ones around me. Happy birthday to me!

#12: I believe so much in myself, I have what it takes to be a greater person than I was before, I’m a trademark on my own and I have got all it takes to build an empire for myself and I am grateful to heaven for this opportunity. Happy birthday to me!

#13: Dear Self, this birthday serves as a reminder that you have enjoyed the full grace of the lord and that you indeed deserve to be celebrated. You’ve worked through fire and came out without a scratch and you’re indeed a survivor. Happy birthday dear self.

#14: I look around at all of the wonderful friends and family that I have and all of the lovely birthday messages I have received. I have been so blessed. I look forward to another year of my life. Happy birthday to me.
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«    July 2020    »